Felang Bars

Last night, Lara & I went Spring Break 2009 on Nong Khai.



Ok, I'm kidding. More like we just went out for a drink with Martin and Selena. Martin and Selena, who are from England and fellow volunteers, invited us to come out with them to a Felang bar near their guest house (Foreigner's bar) where we conversed about our future travel plans, personal stories along with the contrasts between our western cultures. I find it intriguing to learn about other cultures, even with English speaking countries--- they're so disparate and fun to learn, actually. As much as I like learning about how other countries function, I can't help but compare and measure the value of these cultures in terms of government support. I've learned that although I've found flaws in our government system, other cultures have equally as much to say about theirs. For example, with our English friends, they complain about imperatives such as taxes as high as 17% for the goods they purchase, but behind this payment is the benefit for public goods like their universal health care system. Everyone is treated equally and allowed access to hospitals without having to register with health care providers or even bring a damn check-book! All patients are given the appropriate testing they need for check-ups as preliminary procedures. It was amazing when we compared prices of these individual exams... and I felt sad that quite honestly, it's like our nation doesn't care about their people, but that's just my opinion.

We continued to talk about travel stories and somehow went about observing the strip our bar resided. We began to delve into the rags to riches culture here: the aspiring Felang wife. If you step back and observe these small bars along the Mekong river, you will notice specks of salt among a cohesive group of brown sugar. These Thai women flock to foreigners like bees to honey. The perception is that if someone has white skin, THEY MUST HAVE MONEY. Or if a foreigner is frequenting these bars, they must have enough money to pay for "favors". Disgusted, I watch these old white men endear these women with kisses on the cheek as the women sit atop Felang laps and giggle to nonsensical patois.

Being a woman, an empowered one, if anything... I refuse to believe that women should be subjected to these "occupations" to earn a living for themselves. And that these men will solve all their financial problems. But I also understand that I come from different a background and that I could not for one day even begin to empathize their struggle.
... I just want to fight for them, because I know they deserve it.
I want to tell every one of them that there is someone out in this world that will love them not for their bodies, not for the fake-up on their faces, not for their painful silence and definitely not for their rehearsed "I love you's". There are men out there that will love them unconditionally and find their beauty... even after their make-up wears.

I felt even more upset when Selena told us a story about a bus ride she was on en route to another Thai city. She spoke of an incident where a 15 year-old girl was being pressured into holding a Felang's hand (an older man) by her mother. The Felang refused her but the mother was relentless and continued to force her daughter into holding his hand. (It's understood that if a Thai woman is married to a Felang, she will be taken care of extremely well along with her family-- which is why it's become so appealing for families to send their children as monetary ambassadors.) At that age, we believe everything our parents tell us. They use these tactics to implement their ethics and morals, but crossing the boundaries between minor and adult in hopes to turn her daughter into a future Felang wite? Turns my stomach.

These men aren't God's gift to solve these women's 'problems'. As much as I want to avoid stereotyping, it's difficult to when this has become a lucid culture in developing countries. White men beside Asian women. I know that it appears as though I am quite pessimistic, but to offset, I have also witnessed the positive stories of healthy and happily married bi-racial couples and those are always beautiful to see. It's just difficult to believe when these men come here to pay for sex for less than $20 and discard them instantly. Prostitution here, fyi is ILLEGAL here, but often times, Thai women respond in defense proclaiming that there is a solid relationship among her and the Felang.

There are just too many stories that I've heard about the women here. Too many sealed lips about ungodly acts committed on women-- young and old. Too many polished smiles to cover abuse. Too many who've exchanged their sight for stacks. There's just too many.

But in the midst of all of this, it keeps me grounded and hopeful. I want to tell these stories to let people know that this world is not always as beautiful as we see it and that with education/awareness this can be prevented. That there is a struggle to survive, however means possible.

I would like to send strength out to these women who are jaded by their financial conditions and hope that they will find love in its truest form. Because they deserve it. Because they are stunning. Because they have worth.

Maybe we can make it better.
...The world is changing, yanno.