This one goes out to you (and you and you...)

It's been a long time coming for this moment! I'm nearing 2 weeks until my departure to Thailand to teach English for 3 months. I've decided to start this blog to document my travels along with conforming to social networking norms in the direction of this 'twittering' phenomenon as well. While attempting to refrain from engaging in these activities, I couldn't help but envy and incidentally be inspired by these people.

I've always believed in traveling.
Exploring new spaces.
Understanding cultures.
Assimilating & just experiencing everything with an open mind.
Absolute elation effortlessly pumps out of my heart just thinking about this.

But I also believe in balance between home & traveling. After graduating last year, I found myself waiting for something of paramount measure to happen to me. I've been living at home for almost a year now and have found the comforts of home to be unsettling (mainly just MY house, not my surroundings). I love being home, but I know it will always be here. These experiences I aspire to embrace are only a blink of my lifetime, which leads me to what I will be doing in the next few months and resolution #6: Leave the country (at least twice, and this is happening already!) I have always enjoyed traveling, but my reason for doing so is to volunteer abroad. This was triggered by a Facebook ad hosted by an organization called Cross Cultural Solutions. I began my inquiries during the summer of 2008 shortly after my graduation and received several information packets supplying me with copious details about how to go about my journey to foreign lands and the work I would be engaging in. I couldn't help but be excited!

So it began. The search to give something greater than myself to others in the form of community building, teaching English, various environmental and health sustainability projects, etc. After reviewing several packets through a span of organizations offering different projects, it became clear that all these organizations had one thing in common: projects that involve handing over your cash in exchange to experience exotic excursions and doing 'volunteer work' on the side was not attractive to me at all. (Plus, wtf $2000 for 2 weeks? Please, that's hardly any work in which I was hoping to contribute!) Lara, my traveling mate exchanged several e-mails expressing enthusiasm to volunteer with an organization called Isara, a non-profit organization founded in 2005. And that was all it took. This organization provided the projects in which we were interested in along with the non-monetary exchange to actually DO work for them, just how volunteer work should be (however, they were so kind enough to allow us to stay at their community center for our stay there) ...But getting to this point wasn't that easy. I did experience several obstacles that solely served as resistance to my aspiration to volunteer and travel abroad, but that never stopped me; I continued to stand firm on my decision to go through with this. I am forever thankful for those who have supported me through this time in my life in making such 'reckless' decisions as they, themselves have also realized that life should not be subjected to corporate and mundane work and that experiences should be in fact experienced first hand, not vicariously.

I also cannot help but emphasize the true ability and risk it takes to live out your dreams and see them materialize before your eyes. Because that, in itself is beautiful and incredibly remarkable.

So who are you, in all of this?

• You are family members. You are either my brother, or several cousins of mine. I don't think I'm comfortable enough to share this information with my parents... yet. Who knows? You are the lifeline in which has continued to fuel me through this time in my life. Sometimes, I want to thank the negative reinforcement as it has further motivated me to finally get to where I am right now. But that's not the point here. I just want to thank you and assure you guys that I will be fine out there.
• You are my close friends. My confidants. The men and women who have listened to me rant about insecurities and fears about embarking on this journey. You have comforted me about implementing positive energy and finding alignment with the universe despite the indifferences that have continued to come my way. You guys have held up my hair & lifted my spirits without request. I love you guys!
• You are curious readers. You may have stumbled upon this blog through various keywords typed into Google, friends of friends, or acquaintances. Any of which, I appreciate you for continuing to read this. I urge you all to surrender to vulnerability and captivating yourselves in the beauty of spontaneity and being better than you were before, whether it is through travel, changing habits, meeting new people or just saying a sheer, mono-syllabic affirmation/response: 'YES'. Yes to living your life, for you--- not anyone else.
  
• You are Lara Estrada. My traveling mate! You already know how I feel about this experience and all the plans in which we have so carefully (but almost, quite carelessly) made for Fall 2008-Winter 2009. Your post says it all, dude! I'm so thankful to be your companion on this life-changing experience. I admire you so much, you already know this-- so I will save you the tears because I know they're almost escaping your eyes right now. I love you.
  
• You are Bryan Tang. Everything that has ever been important to me. You've continued to watch me grow through this process and never questioned whether I was making the wrong decision or not. You've listened to me cry late at night about my parents and witnessed these curved balls thrown at me. You've entrusted my strength in all of this. You have always been an inspiration to me in ways unimaginable. You have always been the love of my life & best friend. Thank you so much. P.S. The 2nd picture to the left is for you and has always been. =] I love you.

As you can imagine, preparing for a 3 month+ journey like this does not happen overnight. I've had to prepare myself in several ways:

In terms of survival:

• Financial Survival: $12k+-- I have changed my spending habits significantly and spending less on useless things such as extravagant shopping, gluttonous eating/drinking, and other expensive purchases. I saved quite a bit from my job and unemployment money (Thanks, Obama!). Friends, it is not hard! Yes, I did have bills. Yes, I did pay off CC's. Yes, I do pay for my shit. You can all save as well! It's seriously a psychological thing, in my opinion. Rid yourself from these 'needs' you believe you have and replace them with some imagination and self-control and you seriously can save enough to fund for extensive trips.
• Mental Survival: Learning, learning, learning-- After receiving annoying e-mails from my dad about Thailand's current political climate, I have been well aware that YES, Thailand may be unsafe for travelers (so, what? As if walking out on the street isn't a threat/chance of danger as well). I have also found peace, or attempted to with the idea of change. So much of my life has changed within the past year and I'm still continuing to grow from it. I may have a few uncertainties about past decisions, but I refuse to live in regret. I've also learned to slow down. To just take everything, day by day. The remnants of corporate culture and work haunted me in every aspect of my daily routines, but until I found (this is going to be cheesy & hippie-ish) the art of meditation and yoga, I kind of just... let everything go. Let things be. Threw out the negative energy that was continuing to jenga and just appreciate things as they are with no judgments. To just be.
  

On work:
With the work I hope to be doing, I want this to be somewhat of a potential job development kinda thing for me as well. I anticipate this will help clear the fog in this search for finding the right occupation for me in the future. I can only wish for great things from this point on. Thailand is going to be amazing.

On leaving those I love:
I love you. You know this already. I will be home in no matter of time! We are incapable of resisting change, however our friendships and relationships should never be one of them. If we were truly good to one another, I don't see why this will ever be something to question.

Why all of this seems crazy?

• This is a one way ticket purchase to Thailand. Yeah, yeah. I know. There will be a return purchase too! February is the estimated return, but who knows if earlier or later? The possibilities are endless. Again, in a span of a lifetime, this is but a blink (or less!)
  
• I'm spending my unemployment money instead of working. I've run into so many disputes with family members and friends who have indifferent perspectives about why I am going through this. I simply just tell them, 'I'm young and I have the rest of my life to work--- a few months is not going to hurt' because there is no use in dictating what another person should be doing with their life. It's mine; not yours.
• Because this is a risk I've never taken in my life. And what if we continue to live our lives like this? We are nothing but a book with one chapter. With one perspective of the world. I'm not saying that this is neither bad nor good, but simply preference. I prefer to do these things, conventional or not. But also, I just feeeeeel like it!
  

So there you have it!
My affirmation.
My appreciation for you.
My clarifications about this trip.

Wish me luck. September 22, I'll be seeing you soon.